Dalish Hope
by Androfirestrike
Summary: Cain Mahariel's biggest regret is giving up his search for Tamlen. When Velanna wants to give up her search for Seranni, Cain lectures her about why she shouldn't give up hope. M!Mahariel x Tamlen and slight M!Mahariel x Zevran.


Velanna sighed, mumbling to herself as the Commander of the Grey walked up to her, "Oh, what is it this time, Da'len? More scolding? A lesson on manners?"

The red-headed Dalish elf shook his head, rolling his eyes at being called "child" in their native tongue, "No, Velanna, I came to see how those stories were coming along. Seranni will probably be thrill-"

"Seranni is a lost cause, Commander. How many times must I tell you this? How can you still be so hopeful that we'll even find her or the darkspawn haven't killed her yet?" The blonde elf shot back harshly.

The commander looked grim, an expression unfitting of his usual comic behavior, "The better question is why have you given up hope?"

Pausing, he walked over to the small rack of swords nearby Velanna and motioned for her to follow him. The blonde elf followed suit, "The more we fight these creatures, the more I've realized how useless everything is, Commander. She's either dead or Creators help her soul she is not a broodmother."

Cain nodded, looking at a small dagger he had placed upon the rack of swords, "You know what this is, Velanna? This dagger belonged to Duncan, the Grey Warden who conscripted me."

Velanna looked at the dagger, the blade of silverite shining in the light as the Commande examined it, "Conscripted? I'm surprised the great Hero of Ferelden and champion of the Dalish Elves had to be forced into being a warden..."

"I hated it at first. I didn't want to be a warden. I didn't want to leave my people. But I was sick with the darkspawn taint. If I didn't become a warden, I was going to die. Even still, I was a reluctant brat. I told Duncan I didn't want to join and he forced me instead by conscripting me. He saved my life," The commander seemed lost in thought as he imagined Duncan's face that fateful day, the way the man had saved him, and the talk they shared as they made their way to Ostagar. He never had thanked him properly for everything Duncan did for him.

The blonde elf shook her head though, "I fail to see what this has to do with my sister, Commander."

Those words brought him out of his daydream though, "There are three things I regret most in life, Velanna. Not thanking Duncan is my third. The second is a more private matter that concerns myself and a...sneaky witch thief. The first...The one thing I regret more than anything...was giving up hope when it came to finding Tamlen."

"Tamlen, who's Tamlen?" Velanna shot back.

"Tamlen was a fellow hunter in my clan. After he and I had run into that horrible mirror, he disappeared and I developed the darkspawn taint. We sent a party into the forest to look for him and never found him even though I persisted that we should. Eventually we all lost hope and my clan left for the north while I joined the wardens. After I had joined the wardens, though, I ran into him again. He was completely taken over by the taint. He had lived, Velanna. He lived. If we had just not given up and maybe searched some more or anything, we might have found him..."

Cain Mahariel had never wanted to be a warden. He never wanted to leave his clan. He never wanted to be someone special. He wanted to remain in obscurity, hunting for his people. But part of him knew he was different. He held no attraction to females whatsoever. He could not imagine taking a wife or being a husband or having children. Merrill had seemed to have crush on him when he was still a part of his clan, but Cain held feelings for someone else. The young, red-haired elf had always harbored secret feelings for Tamlen, his best friend.

Giving up on Tamlen hurt, but what hurt even more was when Tamlen had returned that night the darkspawn had invaded the camp...

* * *

><p><em><em>He heard the shrill screams of the shrieks and immediately grabbed his bow as he awakened from a hazy slumber. They had broken through. He shot arrow after arrow at the beasts. This was an easier than usual battle considering how many people were in camp as opposed to the typical four person team Cain usually took into things.<em>_

__But as Cain began to pull at the string of his bow, he fumbled and couldn't shoot as his breath hitched, "Tamlen?"__

__The ghoul looked at him with a tormented gaze, "Don't look at me...Lethallin..."__

__It was him. It was Tamlen. Tamlen had survived.__

__"Stand back everyone! I know this one," Cain yelled at his companions as he followed Tamlen further away from camp.__

__His heart beat faster and faster and faster the further he followed the ghoul. It couldn't be. It shouldn't be. Why? Why was he alive?__

__Cain put a hand on the ghoul's shoulder slowly as he stepped behind him to which the disfigured Elf brushed away, "Don't...look at me...I am...sick..."__

__It was like looking into what could have been. If Duncan had never saved him and conscripted him into the wardens, had he never kicked some sense into Cain's stubborn head... Cain gulped at the thought of turning into a monster like that. The idea terrified him. In a panic, he looked around as he tried to think of something, "I have healers with me. Two mages to be exact. We can help you, Tamlen. Don't be afraid."__

__The ghoul shook his head fiercely, "NO...NO HELP FOR ME...The song...in me head... it calls to...it sings to me...I can't stop it...Don't want to hurt you, Lethallin...please stop me..."__

__He was referring to the archdemon's song, or rather the call of the archdemon to all those who follow it. He was slowly becoming one of them. He was becoming the very monster Cain had been sworn to defeat.__

__"Don't ask me to kill you. You know I can't do that. I loved you, Tamlen!" Cain shot back, tears beginning to well up in his eyes.__

__The ghoul was taken aback somewhat by that. Some remnant of Tamlen still resided in there and was still able to respond to his confession, "I...Love...I didn't...know...I wish...I'm so sorry..."__

__And with that, the ghoul threw a punch at the other elf, something the rest of Cain's companions had taken notice of. They had probably watched the entire exchanged between Cain and Tamlen with baited breath, wondering when the time to slay the ghoul would come.__

__But Cain would not give the others a chance. He pounced on Tamlen, drawing a dagger from his belt and slitting his throat in one swift, agile move. He slowly got up from off the ground, staring at the body for a few seconds before walking forward toward camp. Alistair greeting him upon his return. He looked worried.__

__"Who...was that?" The ex-templar crooned as he stared past his fellow Grey Warden and at the body of the ghoul.__

__Cain looked down at the ground, barely able to speak, "His name was Tamlen."__

__Alistair gasped quietly at the name. Titling his gaze up, Cain looked forward at Zevran who looked somewhat sad. Everyone had known about the way Cain had joined the wardens: He and Tamlen finding the mirror, the way he stubbornly refused to join and how Duncan conscripted him. However, only one person knew about the feelings Cain had shared for the other man and that person was Zevran.__

__"Tamlen? Then he was the one who was with you when you...I'm so sorry...This is what happens when the taint is left unchecked...It was better for him to have it end...It was a mercy."__

__They were words to make him feel better but none of Alistair's words made Cain feel an ounce better. He felt like a failure for giving up on Tamlen.__

__Alistair began to walk away and as soon as he did, Zevran approached the red-haired rogue, giving a sad smile and holding out his hand to which Cain took gently.__

* * *

><p>Velanna looked somewhat disturbed by the story, "So you had to kill Tamlen? He lived and you were forced to kill him because the taint had spread too far...?"<p>

Cain solemnly looked at her, "Yes. Yes, I did. Do you see now why I'm telling you not to give up on Seranni?"

The blonde elf nodded slowly, turning her gaze away from her commander.

The Commander of the Grey turned around, a somber smile tracing his lips as he began to remember the good times Tamlen and he had shared and also the love that Zevran had showed him after he was forced to kill the ghoulish form of his ex-love.

"Commander?" Velanna questioned abruptly, making Cain turn around quickly as he spun away from his thoughts, "We Dalish are going to tell the tale of how you saved Ferelden from the blight for a long time. Would you mind if I got the story from you firsthand? For accuracy, of course. So I can pass on the tale to the rest of the people."

Cain grinned at the offer, a glint in his green eyes as the stared at the female mage in front of him, "Are you going to tell Seranni?"

Velanna nodded quickly, "Of course."

"Ma nuvenin, falon. I don't want people getting the wrong idea about the Hero of Ferelden anyways. I mean, sheesh, I got an image I need to maintain!"

The female elf slightly laughed as she sat down, taking out her journal. Cain sat down by her, taking a deep breath. It was nice to get time like this in which he could talk and not be a hero or have to save anything.

But part of him missed so many of his friends.

Part of him wished he wasn't the hero he now was.

Part of him still wanted obscurity.

But everything happens for a reason and although he had lost so much, he also gained so much more.

If given the chance, he would find the mirror every time.

By finding that mirror, he saved so many people, met the love of his life, and brought hope to his people. That alone was enough for him.

Cain hoped Tamlen would have been proud.


End file.
